So Close, Yet Shut Out: The High Cost of Settling

Melissa Collins
Jul 28, 2025
10 min read

Torah: Numbers 30:1(30:2) - 36:13

Prophets: Jeremiah 1:1 - 2:28

Brit Hadasha: Matthew 23:1 - 25:46; Philippians 3:12-16; James 4:1-12

“So Close, Yet Shut Out: The High Cost of Settling” A sobering look at inheritance, obedience, and the midnight cry.

Happy Rosh Chodesh Av! I’m so excited to talk more about the New Moon this week. After we discuss the Torah Portion, Ken will talking to us the new moon.

The next new moon should fall on August 23^rd, which is a Shabbat. Tentatively, at least for right now, we are planning on covering end times events, specifically the horsemen. So stay tuned for that!

This week we had a double portion reading, Mattot & Massei. This rounds out the end of the book of Numbers and really the Torah if you think about it. They’re there at the end of journey in the wilderness and ready to receive their inheritance. No more wanderings, per say. As the next book is Moses’ recap and farewell address.

If you read this week’s portion you know it begins with vows and ends with boundaries. It’s the story of two tribes asking for land on the wrong side of the Jordan. And tucked in the middle? The journey of Moses. The inheritance of daughters. The power of words. And the God who is drawing lines—not to restrict us, but to protect us.

But this portion goes so deep. And I want us tiptoe out in that water a bit today. I’ll do my best to keep it short, so Ken has plenty of time.

So here we are in this reading. God had already drawn the borders. He had chosen a land flowing with milk and honey for His people. And here come Reuben and Gad, saying, “This land over here, outside the inheritance God chose for us, looks pretty good. Let us settle here.”

At first glance, Moses has to be thinking, “Are we really doing this again?”

This smells a lot like the story of the spies all over again. Unbelief. Settling. Rejecting God’s gift. Moses had to be asking himself, “Did I fail them again?”

But as we unpack it today, I think we are going to see that this isn’t just about Reuben and Gad. This is about us. It’s about whether we will settle outside the promises of God, or press in, fight for what He said is ours, and become the Bride who receives her inheritance.

Part 1: The Pattern of Settling

Let’s read:

Numbers 32:1-5“Now the children of Reuben and the children of Gad had a very great multitude of livestock. And when they saw the land of Jazer and the land of Gilead, that indeed the region was a place for livestock, they came and spoke to Moses... saying, ‘If we have found favor in your sight, let this land be given to your servants as a possession. Do not take us over the Jordan.’”

Catch that: “Do not take us over the Jordan.”

This is THE PROMISED LAND. The land promised to them by God himself. The same inheritance they had waited 40 years for. And now they want to stop short. Why? Because the land looked good for their livestock. Oh if we could only just pluck out our eyes.

We did this in garden. The original sin came because we thought the knew better when the tree looked good for food.

And they’re doing it again.

Are we still doing this today?

How angry and disappointed God must be. 6000 years later, and it’s like we haven’t learned a thing.

Part 2: Moses’ Grief and the Ghost of the Spies

Moses is grieved. He hears this and immediately flashes back to Kadesh Barnea—the spies. The fear. The rebellion. The weeping in their tents. The refusal to go forward.

He must be pulling his hair out and losing his mind at this point. Did he fail them? How can they be rejecting the promised land again? If God made them wander 40 years to let them die the first time, what will God do this time? 280 years?

Numbers 32:6-9“Shall your brethren go to war while you sit here? Now why will you discourage the heart of the children of Israel from going over into the land which the Lord has given them?”

Moses sees the pattern repeating.

And if we’re honest, many of us are still stuck in this cycle.

We say we believe. We say we want God’s best for us.

But when it comes time to cross into deeper trust, we hesitate. We hold back. We settle. We take the first thing that looks good, and miss the promise and inheritance God has for us.

Part 3: Reuben & Gad Step Up

But here’s the plot twist.

Reuben and Gad don’t get defensive. They don’t fight Moses. They come toward him with humility. They say:

Numbers 32:17“We ourselves will go ready armed before the children of Israel until we have brought them to their place...”

They say, “No, Moses. This isn’t like before. We’re not afraid. We’re not refusing to fight. We’re just asking for a different inheritance—but we’ll still go to war with you.”

And Moses relents. He agrees—because this was a little different. They were unafraid.

The bad report was based on fear. That’s not the case here. Reuben & Gad have a different posture.

But listen—God still didn’t change the borders.

They were allowed to live there... but it was still outside the Promised Land.

Part 4: Connecting the Dots – Joseph and the Spies

Now let’s go deeper. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen brothers separate.

Think back to Joseph. His brothers left him behind. They wanted their inheritance without him.

And when they finally come to Egypt, Joseph accuses them of being spies.

Genesis 42:9“You are spies! You have come to see the nakedness of the land!”

Why that accusation?

Because Joseph saw something prophetic: the same pattern that would repeat in Numbers. Brothers rejecting brothers. Brothers settling. Brothers spying out the land but not stepping into unity.

This is about unity. About boundaries. About faith.

And Moses, in this week’s portion, is standing in that tension again. Brothers wanting land. Borders being redrawn. Trust being tested.

Part 5: The Hidden Mercy for Moses

Now don’t miss this—this is stunning.

God had already told Moses he wouldn’t enter the Promised Land. But do you realize where Moses is buried?

Deuteronomy 34:5-6“So Moses the servant of the Lord died there in the land of Moab... and He buried him in a valley in the land of Moab, opposite Beth Peor.”

Where is that?

In the land given to Reuben and Gad.

So even though Moses couldn’t enter the official Promised Land, he was buried in the land of his brothers' inheritance.

What mercy! Moses got to rest in the portion of those who stepped in—not to rebellion—but to brotherhood, to humility, to partnership.

Part 6: The Tragedy of Settling

But let’s come back to Reuben and Gad.

They got their land. But they missed the full inheritance. They settled. And we still see that today.

Matthew 25:1-13“Then the Kingdom of Heaven shall be likened to ten virgins... five were wise, and five were foolish.”

All ten were waiting for the Bridegroom. All ten had lamps. All ten were invited. But only five made it in.

Why? Because only five were prepared. Only five pressed in. Only five endured.

The other five. Locked outside. They almost walked in full obedience. They got just close enough to see it.

Part 7: Tie to “Who Is the Bride?”

And now the question: Who is the bride? Who makes it in?

One of my favorite teachings is one from Pastor Jim Staley called, “Who is the Bride?” In this teaching, he proves the answer is clear:

The bride is not just the invited. She is the prepared.

She doesn’t settle for outer courts. She walks all the way in.

She doesn’t say, “This land looks good for my cattle.” She says, “This land flows with milk and honey—and my Father chose it for me!”

She doesn’t get tangled in lesser battles. She fights for the promises of God.

Let’s not confuse the invited with the betrothed. Not everyone at the wedding is the Bride.

The scriptures are clear—Yeshua isn’t coming back for a crowd. He’s coming back for a prepared, purified, faithful Bride. And I want to be counted among her, not just a guest at her party.

Revelation 19:7 says, “Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His Bride has made herself ready.”

Did you catch that? She made herself ready. Not, “God made her ready.” No. She participated in the preparation. She pressed in. She repented. She got the oil.

So then the question becomes… am I preparing, or am I presuming? Because the difference between the Bride and the guests, between the wise and foolish, between those who enter and those who stand weeping outside the door—is preparation.

What Is the Oil?

This takes us straight to the parable of the ten virgins in Matthew 25.

Ten were waiting for the Bridegroom. They were all dressed. All had lamps. All were believers. But only five were wise, and the difference was… oil.

Matthew 25:3-4 says, “The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps.”

Now oil in Scripture often represents the Holy Spirit, yes. But it also speaks of obedience, intimacy, and sanctification.

You can’t borrow obedience. You can’t rent relationship. You can’t microwave consecration.

This oil takes time to cultivate. And the tragedy of the foolish virgins is that they looked the part, they were in the right place, they had the right hope… but they didn’t prepare. And when the door was shut, it wasn’t because they were evil. It was because they were late.

Section: The Bride Prepares Herself

There’s a big difference between being saved and being ready.

Salvation is free. But the wedding requires a garment. Revelation calls it “fine linen, bright and clean, which is the righteous acts of the saints” (Rev 19:8). That’s your holiness. Your surrender. Your obedience.

This isn’t a Vegas chapel at 2 a.m. This isn’t a shotgun wedding. This is the marriage supper of the Lamb of God, and the Bride must make herself ready.

Esther 2:12 (ESV)"Now when the turn came for each young woman to go in to King Ahasuerus, after being twelve months under the regulations for the women, since this was the regular period of their beautifying—six months with oil of myrrh and six months with spices and ointments for women..."

12 months of preparation before entering the presence of the king.
6 months with oil of myrrh: Myrrh is bitter—it speaks of death to self, purification, and consecration.
6 months with spices and perfumes: This represents worship, devotion, and the fragrance of intimacy.

This isn’t just a beauty regimen—this is prophetic preparation.

Esther didn’t walk into favor. She prepared for it. She didn’t stumble into purpose. She submitted to it.

This is a shadow of the Bride preparing for the return of the King—purified, anointed, fragrant with worship, and ready for such a time as this.

Some of us want to show up to the altar in sweatpants with a messy bun and half-hearted devotion. We want to run to our groom expecting Him to receive us like a pure virgin bride.

He’s not marrying someone casual, or someone not fully and deeply in love with Him.

He’s marrying someone committed. Someone sold out. Someone who had taken the time to prepare, to completely die to their flesh. Someone not chasing what looks good. But someone chasing He, who is holy.

And listen, I say this with all the love in my heart—you don’t accidentally become the Bride. You prepare for it. And you prepare by doing what He said to do, even when it’s hard, even when you don’t understand, even when no one else is watching.

The Wedding Guests vs. the Bride

You know what’s wild? The wedding has guests. They’re there. They’re watching. They’re celebrating. But they’re not the Bride.

Jesus told a parable in Matthew 22 about a wedding banquet. And the king invited guests—some refused to come, some were unworthy, and then the call went to everyone on the streets. But when the king came in, he saw a man without wedding clothes and cast him out.

That’s not someone who didn’t show up. That’s someone who showed up unprepared.

The warning is clear: attendance is not the same as intimacy.

Yeshua is coming back for a Bride who knows Him, not just people who know about Him.

End-Time Implications – Will You Be Inside the Door?

Let’s bring it home now.

In this week’s Torah portion, Gad and Reuben settled for a land outside the Promise. They looked at the good-for-grazing valleys and decided it was good enough.

But beloved… good enough is not God’s best.

They gave up their inheritance in the Land for convenience. And I wonder—how many believers are doing the same today? Trading holiness for comfort. Trading the narrow path for the easy one. Settling outside the Kingdom while pretending they’re in it.

When the Bridegroom comes, will we hear the honeymoon from outside the door?

Will we weep and gnash our teeth, not because we didn’t believe—but because we weren’t ready?

Let’s not wait until the door is shut to get serious. Let’s not hear, “I never knew you.” That word “knew” in Hebrew is “yada”—it means intimacy. It means covenant. It means oneness.

He’s not asking if you did miracles. He’s asking if you knew Him.

Part 8: The Gentle Yet Firm God

And finally, let’s talk about the character of God.

Over and over in these stories we see this paradox:

God doesn’t change.
But He permits things because of our stubborn hearts.

Balaam wasn’t supposed to go—but God let him. Divorce wasn’t the design—but God allowed it. Reuben and Gad weren’t called to settle east—but God said fine.

And every time—we miss something.

We lose purity. We lose power. We lose the closeness that comes only from walking fully in His ways.

God is merciful. He’s a gentleman. But don’t mistake His patience for permission to live halfway.

Conclusion: Will You Cross Over?

Today is your call to action.

Don’t stop short. Don’t settle. Don’t miss the inheritance. Don’t miss God’s fullness.

James 4:8“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

Philippians 3:12-14“Not that I have already attained... but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.”

Today, I challenge you: press on.